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1) I use the scoville scale measure my worth as a human being: Are you f-king stupid, this isnt spicy ??!!

chilli is meant to compliment the taste of the meal, not overwhelm it.
I judge spice based on how much it overpowers everything else. You could eat dog poop if you cake it in enough chilli powder.

2) What does value, like, even, mean dude?

Mathematically, food value can be measured as $/calorie. In the modern age of manufucured food, this is a suprisinlgy versatile measurement.
Ultimatley,everything obeys the Law of energy conservation. What you get out of food has to be put in there. Hence the drive to make us eat bugs.

But food value is more then that - it's aesthetics, it's branding, and messaging. It's also emotional value.
so basically, it's a measure of how ripped off i feel.